The Sleigh in the Moon — A Very Sufjan Christmas

All the time, I catch myself imagining children’s feelings as being as small as their bodies. In my mind, the kid is just feeling one thing — happiness or frustration or boredom — and not as fully or reflectively as I would. With “The Sleigh in the Moon,” Sufjan does justice to the feelings of a child.

In this song, the child’s feelings are big. The narrator feels excitement so overwhelming that she can’t go to sleep, even when she’s trying to. And she’s feeling more than one thing. From her excitement flows gratitude: “We know that we’re blessed,” she sings. She’s not just oblivious, riding a wave of happiness. She has recognized the goodness of her joy, and she is mindful of it.

In some ways, the narrator’s feelings are larger than mine. As an adult, strong emotion is usually joined at the hip to a doubt. I feel anger and wonder if it is fair; or feel forgiveness, and wonder if I am not holding the recipient of my forgiveness to high enough expectations. I feel close to a person, but I know that in some ways, I am still at a distance from them.

But here, the narrator has the certainty of someone new to the world. She knows that she is blessed — and that she will never forget this feeling. Her conviction is noticeable because it may be misplaced. Christmas does not always produce an unwavering sense that one is blessed. As the narrator gets older, she may well forget, or at least lose, this feeling of joy.

I love that the narrator is sure she won’t forget. I think this optimism is beautiful and unique to this stage of our lives. The child has hope, more hope than I could ever have, that the feeling of wonder will last forever.

Gabriel Berger is a high school teacher in Denver, CO.