Christmas Face
Expectations.
At no time of year are expectations greater than during the holidays. Some expect to give and receive as many presents as they desire, while others expect to spend plenty of time with their loved ones. It can be quite devastating when these hopes fail to come to fruition. Typically economic or geographic factors are the cause for these lackluster moments, but this year we’ve been collectively suffering through a health crisis. Not only has this brought along a strew of financial and relational struggles, but it’s altered our normally joyous perception of this time of year. From those who were taken too soon to all who’ve had their livelihood’s upended, this Christmas is bound to conjure disappointment.
At least, that’s how we expect it to be. Our information-heavy landscape makes it easy to get oneself riled up by the atrocities of the world. It can feel like everything we ever feared is culminating in one year. It feels almost… apocalyptic.
That is, if we expect it to be. A great deal of our mental capacity is spent thinking about hypotheticals. The future-thinking mind occupies our consciousness to such a degree that we lose sense of the present moment. The space we currently inhabit is where we can make the most impact. Even if that space feels a little different this year, it is still rife with opportunities of new life experiences.
Sometimes, when things get stripped down to their core – devoid of preconceived notions – we tend to gain a better understanding of the phenomena altogether. When you take away the presents and indulgent meals, you are still left with the appreciation of living another year, as well as the anticipation of those to come. With realistic expectations, we can use the gift of another year to make our vision for the future a reality.
Shifting my own expectations is something I had to do quite frequently during my first listen of Sufjan Stevens’ Christmas discography. The one-hundred track, a nearly five-hour-long barrage of holiday tunes, spent most of its time challenging my nostalgic memories – as opposed to reinforcing them. My purview of Christmas-themed compositions was limited to what I had come to expect on the radio. It was in these crucial moments that I realized they could be so much more.
These albums have taught me to seek out the less pleasing and inconvenient sides of the holiday season. The uncomfortable, unexpected moments that tend to turn people away. Since Christmas is a time revered for tradition, we aren’t always open to the thought of change. However, countless songs in Stevens’ catalog have altered my mindset entirely. One of the more striking of these is the peculiarly named “Christmas Face.”
The song begins humbly; a piano plays in with the opening chords – reminiscent of a music teacher before a school recital. In that split second, I anticipated a childish, rambunctious rendition of a beloved track (not unlike “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” earlier in the album). To my surprise, my ears were greeted with a heavenly voice. A voice harmonized elegantly with an accompanying woodwind. A voice… that wasn’t Sufjan.
Understandably, I was taken aback, so much that I barely paid attention to the lyrics on first listen. Just as my first verse was coming to a close, I greatly anticipated what else the song had in sto- wait, what? That’s IT? Forty seconds had elapsed, and the song was over. The most beautiful surprise was there and then gone in the blink of an eye.
Instantly hitting repeat, I took note of the lyrics a second time around. The narrator is attempting to construct a humanoid face of Christmas décor. “Holly hair and tinsel eyes, my efforts will disgrace.” A poignant reminder that seeking joy through materialistic means is often unfulfilling. This doesn’t discourage our protagonist, however. Staying up to the odd hours of the night, they endlessly pursue their creative endeavor, comforted by the gentle snowfall.
Although brevity is not usually associated with Sufjan Stevens, I think it aids significantly in the enjoyment of this song. In the scope of a year, Christmas is just a small, fleeting moment. Often our expectations are grandiose and unattainable. Yet, even when our expectations aren’t met, we continue trying to pass the torch of holiday spirit. During the most unprecedented of times, it’s more important than ever to keep that flame alive.
By Drew Popa